i hope you’re well.

the years have flown, haven’t they?

since i last saw you eight years ago

a lot of things have changed. some have stayed the same.

when i left, we were best friends.

i invited you to my going-away party. i brought you a gift, my favorite book.

back then, even now, eight years away from that summer evening.

i didn’t realize how much i meant to you. i didn’t realize how much you meant to me.

i was focused on my new life in the big city. i was trying to forget missing you.

but i’m thinking about late night conversations from our flip phones, playing games and bonding over webtoons and anime and yeah,

maybe distance makes the heart grow fainter. maybe you left me behind.

i remember when we had that big performance in seventh grade — in another county, for an award.

we were dressed up in black suits and pants. your hair was slicked back.

you sat close to me on the bus ride back. you wished me good night when we left. 

are you still performing?

getting dolled up and kissing your bandmates goodnight? or was that just for me?

because i know it’s been us since i moved into town.

   two chinese kids floundering in a sea of otherness.  

i remember when they made us choose a language for school,

i took italian. i already knew mandarin. but i wanted to learn my mother tongue. i wanted an excuse to practice chinese with you.

sit next to me again, and ask me is it ài or ái? i can still write the characters for you and me. but i stopped learning after you left.

do you still feel like you can’t find your place?

your parents didn’t let people over but i didn’t care. you talked about comics and idols during late nights in the band room you confided in me about your parents’ expectations, how you were always so busy. and instead of homework we watched and you were my anchor — magnetic, grounding. music videos and i wanted to hold onto you but you were like a dream — unreal, fleeting.

but that was eight years ago. how are you now?

are you still into computer science? are you pursuing your artistic aspirations?

i got my old phone back, and i looked at our texts. maybe you think you abandoned me. but i’m stronger than before.

i haven’t forgotten you.

and i’m sorry we stopped talking. i still have that ring you gifted me.

in my head, you’re still the same as always, in my head, you’re a stranger, someone completely 

waiting for me to come home. new. and we’ve both grown. 

but like two butterflies floating side by side, a week into spring

for a few years we were together, you and me, so beautiful.

i hope you’re well.